Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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