On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
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hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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