today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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