just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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