if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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