all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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