Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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