keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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