I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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