Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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