Buhtt sex?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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