allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize