She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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