when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Dear god my vagina.
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