It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize