Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
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We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
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What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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