we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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