I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize