farters have to be the big spoon...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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