I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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