I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize