I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize