even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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