Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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