i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize