He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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