Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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