he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
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Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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