Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
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finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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