Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize