Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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