In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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