Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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