i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize