You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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