ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
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I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
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White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
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