Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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