garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked a lego.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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