hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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