he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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