Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
it's like iHOP with fire
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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