i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize