I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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