Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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