soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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