why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Bring me that man meat
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize