whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
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He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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