so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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