OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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