i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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