I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize